To The Single Brother

#Lovewednesday

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My heart goes out to the single brother (and sister), especially the one who has been ‘double’ before; who has once tasted love.
He has had his heart entwined with another and it’s now hard to stand alone.
He has tasted the sweetness of ‘the two that becomes one’.
He has known what it means to have someone close to his heart, someone to share his thoughts; someone to love.
He has felt having someone to care and worry about the details of his life, someone to ask him if he has brushed his teeth, and eaten.
Someone to encourage him.
Someone to pray with and for him.
And someone to always be there.
More so, has experienced what it means to care, to give…

And then, suddenly, life happened.
And it’s had to live without those feelings again.
He doesn’t even know what it means to be ‘himself’ anymore.
In no time, he finds another to join his heart.
“where have you been all my life?”, he says.
He finds love again. And he’s certain that this Love is meant for him.
And this is not a problem. In fact, the heavens rejoices.
But that, suddenly, he thinks he’s fine. He thinks he has gotten over it.
In a way, he has, but in other ways he hasn’t.
Little does he knows that, when he broke his heart away from the previous ‘her’, a part of it went with her, and a part of hers came with his.
But he doesn’t know this.
He forgets that their hearts were already growing into one.
He doesn’t understand that their hearts didn’t just separate, it broke away.

But he doesn’t feel this. His heart feels fine.
But that’s because all he has left is only enough for him and not enough to give to another.
He doesn’t understand what injustice it will be to now bring this incomplete heart to the table for another.

So he must take his time. He must let that heart grow again. He must spend some time in singleness again.
Learn who he is again. Find his own identity, before joining his heart to another.
Though the space in his heart makes him feel like he must quickly join it to another, to fill the missing pieces, but this is wrong.
He must take time off from all such. Letting his heart heal and grow completely.
He must take time to displace what’s left of the former.
He must learn to live alone again.
Like a farm land, he must let fallow.
He must make his heart virgin again.
He must start the process afresh.
He must be really single.

Only then can he offer the best to this Love.
Only then can he be certain he is not carrying over hurts, or emptiness again.
Only then can his love be for her, and not a rebound, a patch, a make-up.
Only then can he keep this Love away from the expectations of the former.
Only two whole heart can make one.
Only two complete individuals can make one
Only two whole loves can make one.
Only then, can he ensure a pure foundation.
Only then can this love thrive on it’s own.

It is hard, I must admit.
But it is the only way.
It is the only fair thing to do, for the sake of posterity.
And it will only be a matter of time.

To the single brother, the one who has tasted love.
Give yourself time.
She deserves it.

#IamImisioluwa;

Enjoy your Evening

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