Relationship is work
It is some real work not meant for lazy people
The grass of other people’s relationship only looks greener from afar
And in the case where it is, it’s because those on the other side spend time and effort to make it so.
This is what we are not adequately taught
All we hear is to marry the will of God,
(A concept in itself that needs thorough understanding)
We are not taught about Love
The responsibility and commitment that comes with it
The expressions of the fruit of the spirit is not even emphasized
Just marry a lady that can pray for two hours
And that’s all.
Yet the evidences we see in some of their lives don’t add up
Relationship is rarely only about the person we marry.
It has much more to do with the mindset, ideologies, and principles we arm ourselves with.
And one is the issue of working hard to make our relationships work
Don’t get my idea of work twisted. Lest you start quoting ‘it’s only God that can make it work out’ to me.
Thing is, if you were to exchange your partner with another of a relationship you consider to be working, the truth is you might end up with the same situation sooner or later, except you change.
I know a man, he didn’t get this until his third marriage. He had always blamed the woman.
Truth is we are all a work in progress
Your partner is not called to be the entire source of your Joy.
That requires some more eternal solution.
She will make you happy, but truth is, she will sometimes make you not happy, better still unhappy.
But your Joy, that one, must be anchored in something much more enduring.
He will thrill you, and yet he will have flaws
Flaws that he may not even be aware of presently.
Others you’ll see clearly.
She’s not an Angel. Besides, there are no female Angels heard of.
So in chosen a partner, your reasons must be beyond the usual.
You must look at a lady or guy, in whose life you want to make a difference.
Perhaps, since you don’t have a problem with the good she does, you should be asking yourself about the flaws she carries, and anticipating the ones to come, and preparing to learn how to handle it when it comes, and vice versa
I remember, once, when God was insisting on a standard in my life, and I questioned him as to why I needed to be go through such stress, he simply said: Very soon, you’ll be getting married to a daughter of mine, and I want you prepared for her.
This is the ‘will of God’ I know.
That’s why I believe in ‘arranged marriage’. (Don’t jump too quickly into what you think I mean)
So more like…
“I like the kind of flaws Adeola has.”
“I think Adebola needs a man who has mastered Patience like me”
Or more like…
“Oh Lord, is this the guy in whose life you want me to exercise all the self control you’ve been teaching me?”
“Oh Lord, show me the Lady in whose life the Love and wisdom you’ve modelled in me will matter the most”
But Sadly, we’re never taught things like this.
Selfishness, self-centeredness, and ‘meness’ is all they pass on to us, even our religious leaders.
So…that your basis for choosing him is not just for the good he does-you clearly don’t have a problem with that, but your willingness to deal with his area of weakness. Your willingness to stand by her always.
You must be ready to do this.
I am theimisiOluwa; I’m not interested in all these fickle things we call Love.